haRi Ini....

sye rasa sgt despair hari ini
sye pn xtau kenape
sye layan gossip girl dr kul 4 pg smpai 10 pg
n then sye tdo balik smpai kul 1tgh hari
nasib baik sye xde buahati, kalo x dah kena tinggal

bile bgun sye mandi mkn n solat
pastu study ala kadar utk next paper
baru sye sedar
perasaan sye hari ni
same mcm perasaan 2 tahun lepas
masa sye tgh dalam situasi yg sgt2 lost
hilang semangat
hilang harapan
hilang sebab untk hidup
kenapa?
itulah..sye pn xtahu kenapa

kemudian, sye lelapkan mata semula
kerana sye rasa lemas n rimas
sye xnak nampak cahaya
sye tutup tingkap, langsir, juz gelap
macam sye pernah bina dinding sekeliling sye
untuk elakkn semua
elak sakit..dan tanpa sye sedar
sye jugk elakkan gembira
sye hidup dlm keadaan sederhana
tak terluka
dan tak bahagia

dan bila dinding tu sye robohkan
sye tau sye mula jmpe gembira
baru kenal nak eja semula perkataan ketawa
tp..
seperti biasa
akhirnya gembira tu xde makna apa2
sebab gembira lawannya derita

dan hari ni
perasaan 2 tahun lepas tu dtg semula
tanpa sebab apa2
dan takde sebab sye nak kenang semula
sebab sye tau ape pun perasaan sye hari ni
sye masih ade sebab untuk hidup
untuk mak, ayah n keluarga
yg paling penting, DIA yg satu
masih sayangkan sye

iTs ForbiDDen.

salam n greetings to all.wahh.saje je nak tunjuk yg aku sgt rajin update blog aku utk permulaan neh.muahaha.

nway, finally i got a sms from someone that i waited for tis few days around 7.15pm tadi. mix feelings when i read the text, its nothing much xtualy..but there is a few options how can i reply him...the options are...

A. 'we really should stop tis, can't anymore'
B.'stop texting me. i dun wanna talk to u.'
C.'i hate u n go away!'

or....

D.none of the above.

well..always happened when its come to choose da best, we chose da wrong one. some goes to me. i dun have a GUT to stop tis..its forbidden. its not about im going to hurt da people dat respect me, seriously, i feel nothing about dat (bad, i knoe)..but i starts to feel hurt when u away n dats da cue dat i have to leave.for good.

give me time. i'll make this clear.
give me strenght. i'll let u go.
give me little bit gut. i'll just stop this.all.

u call me a bitch.
i dun really care.really.

off for now. biochem paper tomorow. 2-4pm.uhuh.

tHe cLimb

salam n greetings to all. wow. at last i start my own really blog.aha. bukan x pernah terfikir since my frens ramai tnye, awin u xde blog ker? n my answer is 'im not a sharing person..' =) as for me, blogging is a way to a person to tell n share with everyone about everythin. n im not a kind of person who will share everything..literally la..tp..i juz view one of my senior mase skul punye blog..n seriously..she is just not share everything about herself..but also her determination n path to achieve wat she have rite now..ok, ok..she's not my idol k..tp..yeahh she's great! n da blog 2!

well..i bukan la nak jadi mcm die as blog ni pn i rase maybe just a way to reduce my stress sumtimes, n i knoe dat i love to write but i just hate to share! aha. tp, x salah untuk mencuba kn? there's always first time for everything.. =) of coz when we write, we hope someone to read, kn? anyway..untuk i yg baru mcm budak2 belajar meniarap nieh, i dun mind... =) will ask help from my frens yg dah expert berblog neh...

n tis blog is created at da time when tomorow i have biochem examination.haha.serious! agak2 dah hilang akal dah aku nieh..huhu.so time to off now kna smbung belajar n belajar.huh.till then yarh..