its not fun to have a heart.

salam~

at home with obviously nothing to do.. bored? nahh.. my home is my playgroud. everything is here..so y keep complaining??

wanna know? me. miss farhana nazwin musa. is a gurl. with a heart. full of. jealousy.

ooho. dats should be admit. really. i am.

sebab itu. saye ialah cuba menjauhkan diri. dari sebarang perasaan menyayangi dan disayangi. (jiwang ok) bila kite x sayang sesiapa. meaning. kite xkan jeles pada sesiapa atau ape2. kan kan?

kalau family. lain la..kasih sayang tu pure. tulus mulus. ikhlas dari hati. xkan ade feel of jealousy.

if kwn2. dlm umur sye yg dah hampir 23 tahun 65 hari ni (bersamaan dgn jumlah hari sye dah kenal sumone) i do have my bestesfren. good frens. close frens. biase2 frens. n fren yg x mcm fren sgt pn ader..so no jealousy feeling on dat.. they r all important to me as im important to them.

maksud sye. ialah perasaan menyayangi utk memiliki.
(hope2 k.amy takde baca entry ni, kalo x mati kena gelak 8 tahun)

bile kite syg sumthing or someone. of course bile kite rase ade bnde yg distract sumthing or someone yg kte syg, kite jadi sentap..kan? takot benda tu hilang, xde..n kiter x sempat nak buat ape2 drpd halang bnda tu from dissapear...

aish~ye aku pn dah x fhm ape yg aku bleber kat sini....~

SN : bie, i dunno how if u were in the same college with me. u must gonna jealous to dead to see all that girls around me..

me: hehe.. i'll punch em all if they try to flirt with u..

hoho. itu ialah conversation 2 n half years ago ok. long time ago. memories. so, can u imagine how jealous i am?? =)

so. how to avoid this jealousy feeling eh?

should we just stop our heart from loving sumthing? or sumone...? so dat we dun have to handle with this kind of emotion anymore...just let our heart n perasaan empty without anything..

people says..that jeolusy is always involve with trust.. when u do percaya, u dun have to cemburu.. but when everything is just not so sure, i dunno where i should be. here or there. exist or just dissapear. still hang on or just let go.. Tuhan..serious aku dah x tahu..~

im not jealous because im angry. but because i do care.
i just need to find a way how to control it. which i dunno how. but i still keep on trying.

gurl's heart r made up of glass. it may fall into pieces. really.

ow my god.its bleeding. =p

p/s to inche hasnul naim. u r such a gwed fren.thanx thanx n thanx. tp. aku tetap xkan bersekutu dlm bab2 yg ko mitak tolong tu. huh.sick.

PearL of My heARt

eventhough u really want it..u put an effort on it..u feels so excited about it..but when Allah say NO..means..u won't get it..and Allah knows better what is da best for u..

salam~

now at home already..will spend a week holiday..with..absolutely nothing to do..heheh..just wana clear my mind and my feeling which in upside downs this few weeks..hurm..title entry for this time is actually about....my anak2 sedara la.. =)

i never realy2 show how i felt about them..never said i love them..or miss them...me are me right..? heartless.heh.

but for sure....ma su syg korang a lot lah..more than a lot...aish malu2 nk ngaku~~

this is my anak sedara yg sulung..azyana who is furthering her study now at czeh republic..evento u just call me awin, i tau la u syg kat i..hehe....
she is a strong gurl with a strong heart. really. sanggup jauh from family to achieve her dreams. n of course, u know that i'll always pray for u rite..?? i'll be waiting for u here to settle our promise to get married on the same day..hahaa.. =) n ma su rindu sama kamuuuu!!~ can't wait to celebrate raya with u this year dear~

n now...this my three honeybee..hehe...
qaisara, farhan n faris...n i didnt meet them for almost 2 years.. T__T they are now staying at UK with their mom...i mish them a lot...sob2...kakak, abg pa'an n adik faris cepat2 la balik malysia jmpe ma su...aish.taleh nk ckp byk2 psl nie.sedih bangat.love u miss u need u.muaahhhx!

anak2 buah yang lain...azywan n azylinda..jumpe u all masa kenduri pakteh bulan depan ok... =) n to anak2 buah yg kecik lg nie..afnan n aisyah..nakmo nakal2 ea...afnan yg suke gigit2 ma su ni..nanti la..ma su gigit2 die balik....aisyah lak, mmg copy paste ma su..suke nanges.. =)

spesis loyar buruk cm aku gak budak 2 org neh..huh.

u r resemble me aisyah..n u got my eyes...hehe..

yg ni..erm...xtau nk ckp ape la.....rakus...

kepada ank2 buah yg baca entry ni..heheh..malu la ma su.... (=.=")

n to my upcoming anak buah tis april...welcome2..dun wory..u will inherite da kecomelan drpd ma su..okay..~~i love all of u..remember that...~~

p/s two fridays...n two cry...both because of the different guys..get up awin..u r strong n tough girl..never let anyone make ur tears down anymore..n never never put a hope to anyone who never appreciate u~

may God bless~

ParT of THe LIst ^^

salam..~

akibat kelapangan yg melampau n kegembiraan internet laju kat umah..maka..aku nk post entry yg da dibuat minggu lepas..eheh..~

too many things in the list that can make me happy..^_^ so now nk cerita one part dlm list ni yg bleh buat aku happy la..

so, another thing yg can make me smile n ade perasaan best ialah bile masuk dalam lab microb.why? eheh..bcoz..i know..when im in lab, i'll learn new things yg sgt best, new application, new brg yg mahal2..new ilmu yg i suka..(not new thing like chemistry, eeyurk)...plus..when dr muhajir's turn to teach us..uh.i've crush on him since the second semester..hoho...~

n last weeks..at lab microb, i learnt about elisa.its something about antigen antibody thing.bla2..bla..but we also make a blood test which is i've made twice before in the lab and the result is my blood is type B+...

so, at first i felt like.. 'arh..malas la nak buat dah..da tau kot darah jenis ape..sakit kot nk cucuk2 tangan nie..'

but then, bile tgk mereka2 buat mcm best ajea...so dengan yakin nye..aku g kt dr muhajir, hulur tangan mitak dicucuk...

n bile dr muhajir pegang je tgn aku nk cucuk ngn benda alah tajam tu..hati aku berdebar2..sumpah x tipu!! haha...dr..!! dr tau x saye dah lama sgt jatuh cinta ngn dr...dr faham x hati n perasaan sy yg meronta2 tiap kali pandang dr...dr...!!!!! hahaaha..~~ mmg aku angau ngn die.so what? =p

anyway.lupekan psl hati aku yg ngah sengal ni.bile dah cucuk tu then kena titis kan darah kt atas kad yg dah mmg siap ade part for antigen A, antigen B, antigen D n for Rhesus.. n ni la first result for blood test aku.... ----->

iye..ni sume darah original aku ok...n da outcome is.. me are type O blood with the rhesus -ve.. hoh kejadahan apekah? blood bleh bertukar2 type ke.. n RH -ve? perghh malang2..

anyway. about rhesus ni. most people are blood with RH+ve..ade few percents je manusia dlm dunia ni rhesus negative...but when a women with RH-ve, they need to get married also with a guy with a RH -ve.. coz when they got pregnant, and if the first baby is RH+ve, n the mom is RH-ve.. fatal may occur to the baby.. owh la..fahamkah? to be easier la kan..

mom RH negative + baby RH positive = first baby will die

but now.. da ader treatment utk case ni like antirhesus..but yet, the risk is still there..

aa..lupekan itu. but now.. me RH-ve?? nakmo laa.....

so, untuk memuaskan hati sumer pihak termasuk hati aku ni.. me made the second test.. uhuhu..tgn ku dicucuk lg oleh Dr muhajir.. (lupe nk gtau, b4 cucuk tgn yg ni, demo lelaki tu urut2 jari aku dlu coz nk bg darah byk kuar...~ kenapakh bukn dr yg urutkn.. muahahaa.. =p)

but this time, sakit lorh dr buat..die gune jarum yg besar... -.-" so second result yg aku dpt ialah.... ------->

hihi..darah pn da makin kurang la...n for this result logic sket la... coz.. my rhesus is +ve... just blood type jea samar2...

dr muhajir: erm.. ni darah O ni..sume negative je..no agglutination...~

aku: oho..ye la kot dr.. family sye wether blood O or B jek..

abg demo: darahmu ini jenis O..tp ngapa sih sangat sukar mengenal pastinya..penggumpalannya tiada.. (slang indon la psl die org indon...)

kak pah: eh tapi nampak darah kamu ni byk type A plak ni..ade sikit gumpal ni..dr kn dr kn??

aku: duhh..kak pah..sye anak mak ayah saye la..bukan ank angkat..mana lak darah tak sama..ish la....(-.-')

so..result utk ari ini ialah -------->


cik farhana nazwin bt musa ialah homo sapiens yg berdarah type O with Rhesus +ve....(first test was discard coz cm mustahil je aku rhesus negative..)

which means im the universal donor..which means im a person with the kinded heart...taaaaaaa~~ ^__^


thanx dad for ur seed...
thanx mom for 9 months shelter in ur uterus...
thanx Allah the Almighty for giving me a healthy happy life...~~

p/s part paling malas bile kena buat lab report..aish. takleh phm pkai niat je ke..nak2 kna report plak..duhh...~

may God bless~

suke2 jek.

hehe...
just nak share something yg baru dibaca...

"Whatever u give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give u a baby. Give her a house, she will give u a home. Give her groceries, she will give u a meal. Give her a smile n she will give u her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if u give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit..."

hahaa....so agree with this quote ok.. =)

homesick

sangat rajin updated blog skrg nie..muahaha..~
ye..aku homesick skrg after left high school 7 years dulu.

salam..~

ader org tanye, aku tgh happy ker? n aku jwb..takde la..biasa2 jea..

pastu, ader org tanye lg, tgh sedih ker? n aku jwb...tak...tak....(ego kot.heh)

neutral..dats wat i feel now..

perasaan manusia tu boleh berubah2 kan..?
aku dah lama tak rasa aper2..coz perasaan aku dah hilang lamaaa dulu..

coz.perasaan aku tu just datang sekali. n bila da hilang..takkan dtg balik dah...
n aku pun tak dapat nk tafsir perasaan aku skrg..
adakah aku tgh berusaha untuk something yg sia2...?
or patutkah aku bertahan n terus bertahan walau pun kadang2 rasa hati cm kena pijak2 jea?

owh la..sangat la susah bende2 mcm ni..
just skrg ni aku rasa lebih kuat. lebih byk meminta dr DIA jea..tu je yg aku mampu now..

test aku da habes buat masa nie..tu yg bersuka ria je update blog..hehe..
aa..report? alaa...nanti la buat.. tutorial? nati tiru je la sesape..haha...awin, awin...mmg la kamu ni...

aa..lagi satu, post aku makin more wordy kan..perasan x? actually aku ta faham ape prob lappie aku ni coz aku taleh upload pix masuk..aish2..pas format aritu ape tah abg kacak kt kedai tu buat..saje la tu, nak soh aku g kedai die balik g betolkan coz nak tgk aku lagi..uhu..

nati da ok aku nk upload about 'blood' eheh...nk tayang darah aku kt korg..~

n blog ni mmg berkesan la ubah aku jadi manusia yg sharing2 ni..ohh tidakkkk.. -.-"

awin akan kembali ke bentuk asal selepas ini n jadi org yg cam dulu yg segan2 nak cerita aper2 pasal diri die..huhu..

tis weekend nak balik umaah..tak sabar. tak suke dok sini. tak suke pk bnd2 pelik. tak suke rase sakit. tak suke tak suke.

ok la. tgu la nati nak masuk pix plak dlm blog. rimas tgk byk sgt pekataan yg menunjukkan sape awin yg sbenarnye..muahaha~

salam~