Today is not a fairytale.

This is for someone that i've known for 100 days.

You. are one of the best thing that ever happened in my life.
I do appreaciate u. Really.
U make me smile. make me laught. make me feel better. make me feel good to know someone like u.
Eventho sometime u also make me cry..
Dunno what will happen in future. But. For now.
I still wana be by your side. No matter what.
Thank you.

I got only four minutes to cry.

anda, anda dan anda..pernah terjatuh x? sakit kan, an? x kesah la jatuh apa pun..katil ke, basikal ke..still..we can feel the pain kan?

now..im talking about another 'jatuh'....sakitnya..Tuhan ajea yang tahu..its something that can blow ur mind away. take ur moral down and ur kewarasan is no longer at the right place. bad.it is.

yup. tajuk kat atas mmg ada kena mengena dgn entry. i got only four minutes to cry. and let all my sadness out.just in four minutes. kenapa? heh...tak perlu.diceritakan.

knapa ek? aku asyik buat entry ala2 jiwang+oksida+carbon+karat+terlebih gula sekarang nie?

yea..yea..mmg.mmg la tuan punya blog ni dah 'terjatuh'... teruk sgt jatuhannya sampai tak boleh nak bangun2 dah. tersungkur agaknya.. erm.. owh. org yang die 'terjatuh' tue..?? hurm..dunno wether die tau or x.. but. i know he won't care much...

head over heels. dats the word. even if die bunuh org depan aku skrg ni pun, aku akn backing die dulu. n cari the reasons why he's doing dat in a first place. i won't blame him. even if he is doing something stupid pun skrg ni, aku akn cuba n cuba untuk faham knape die buat cmtu. n again. i won't blame him. it this normal? or is this just me?

click. pings. and pain.

clicks is like a switch on. pings is like something happen suddenly. n pain. its everytime when he is in my mind. which is.all.the.time.

i need to go. n i have to go. but like what i said. its love. n its something that take ur kewarasan away. dun blame me.




owh. lah. tidak2... ini bukanlah org yang dimaksudkan aku 'terjatuh' tu...haha...suspen eh? ini ialah my bestesfren. n yup2. syg him so much.. =) inche Muhammad Fahmi Idris. spent a sweet.sunday.evening.together. n again ye kwn2.. my bestfren since 6 years ago. die tau aku tgh ting tong nie, so he come here n gimme lil bit of hiburan..hehe.

to famie. thanx ek.thanx2. the wayang plus the secret recipe plus ur cheese cake at least make me feel much better for dat time. now. serabut balik.. T_T

final exam is just in three weeks. if i have a gut. i will just say. hye u.go away from my mind n dun come back here. u r just a thief. a liar. n ungrateful people who did not have any right to make me felt the way i feel rite now. right here. tepat in my heart. (ckp sambil tangan tunjuk2 kat hati.haha)

p/s im not suitable to u. im not for u. we just dun have the chemistry. WRONG ANSWER.

my wonderwall.

3 post in three days a row..hambik ko. muntah2 la baca blog aku..hahaa..

salam~

sapa suruh aku free sgt tetiap hari pas subuh. mmg xde keja la~~

ok lah. pendek je entry nie. tribute to lalala~~ ngaa~( jgn la die baca, jap g ngamuk la die)

cerita die pendek jea. aku sgt lapar.di kala pukul 5.30 pg. guling2 da perut bunyi lagu irama trash. xleh tahan. msg org tu. die tak tido lagi. cakap la lapar. die pn lapar. kul 6 pagi. die kuar g beli mee goreng sama milo ais kat maulana. ngaa. so. aku sarapan kul 6.45pg hari ni. thanx u kat org tu. terharu gile. aa. sapa die? boleh bgtau. tp pastu. kna bunuh ko la. haha.
(my wonderwall. coz selamatkn aku dr kelaparan pg2 ni.huhu)

end~

G.iL. A.

call me conservative or what. but. for me. sayang n kasih tu bukan something yang boleh dijual beli. n diberi sesuka hati. its precious. n dats y. i fall again just after TWO years being single.

yeah yeah. i know im 24. n most of my sebaya frens wether already have a plan for their future, mostly dah two is better than one la kan. but for me. im ok with my situation for now. plus. its my life. so, kenapa kamu2 dan kamu juga nak sibuk2?

to find someone, its not easy. n its not me who just spew the word Lo** to sesuka hati. for me. we fall once. n we also get married once.

tp. of course la. we can fall for more than one time. but it will never be the same as the very first one. (owh. sudah peningkah??)

aku pun xtau apsal aku masuk channel berkasih.sayang ni pepagi cmni. hahaa...

maybe sebab. smlam aku pergi office biotech 1 n again ternampak org tu..duh. rasa bersalah pun ada. tp. as i said. aku x boleh nak suka if. aku mmg x suka. faham x wahai inche??big SORRY k..plus. i've already gave u a chance. n ther's no more chance after that.. no matter with wat reasons..

once i said sayang, i will hold that rasa n word for how long i could take. even my heart being hurt n hurt again, i'll just hang on sampai aku rasa hati aku dah xleh bear lagi dah. then. i'll go. being hurt by nabil, it took me a few years before i really2 let him go. sampai aku rasa rasa sakit yang die bagi tu dah melebihi rasa happy yang die pernah bagi.. ~

tu la. my bestfie ckp. ko ni sbenarnya ada hati ke x awin? boleh lagi ko hang on? just let go ok. he never worth it to be lo** by u. ko x rasa sakit ke??
aku jawab la. aku. mmg cmni. heartles. coz word syg tu aku x leh nak kasi pada org lain lagi....

ok. sudah lah aku membuka pekung kat dada pepagi buta nie. i better sambung tidor now. arini. totally free. nak kuar g bukfair lg. tp. org tu xdpt nak teman sebab de hal plak...sedih ok pakcik hazwan T_T

p/s patot la.. its PMS time. dr semalam rasa dah pelik2. nak maki hamun sume org yg senyum2 kat aku.haha. sory guys. its not my fault. its just the cycle.. so abaikan this entry yg dibuat masa emosi rasa mcm tgh turun naik like a roller coster wakaka......=P

Love.Life.Me.

salam..~ been a while since last post..huhu.. busy lol.. this march mcm2 bende ada..haish2....marilah aku story skit ape2 event yg berlaku sepanjang minggu lepas nie....

okeh. on 12th march..my bro nan sorang tu dah selamt bergelar someone's hubby.. meninggalkan aku solo keseorangan..huuu.. T_T congrate to Ahmad Sajidin n Norhuda...moga2 berbahagia melayari rumahtangga sampai ke syurga..Insyaallah...(anyone wana take me as wifey?? =P)

apasala laa u tutup mata nie ajib oii..tau la panas, yg g pilih baju kaler2 panas maha gitu apsalnya..huhu.. this pix masa majlis sanding2 on 13th march 2010. (pengapit die sumpah gila hensem) anyway. sedih ke ek? err..sikit la..huhu T_T

u r 25 n im 24. spent all the time since chilhood together. playing n fighting. n fighting again.eheh~ not so close when u were in UUM n im also in Uitm. been busy with all life thingy. but now. we are ok-ok.. all the help dat u gave me, i'll remember that, ok? hutang budi dibawa mati..huhu. n all all allll the money u spend to me, thanxx u so much for that..(more pix at fb k..)

okeh..next is... my along's birthday..!! on 15th march..besday yang ke berapa along? hehe...disebabkan inche along ni ialah tua 20 tahun dari aku, makanya sila lah kira berapa umurnye yek..hehe.....

along aku ialah.. Puan Liza Hazimah bt Musa. guru disiplin yang ditakuti oleh semua pelajar dan pekerja kat Sek Men Langgar, Alor Star..SEMUA yea...termasuk ngn pengetua sekali takut ke along..hahaa... tp dun wory la along. umur u berapa2 pun u still maintain muda jek.. =P

nak bagi wish..moga2 dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki..diberkati hidup dan berbahagia la di samping suami n anak2 sampai ke syurga...aminn... n all the nasihat2 n ceramah2 tanpa tajuk tu akan la adik ingat sampai bebila yekk..~~

okeh..next is...birthday seorang inche nie..the pix was taken by fon, so not very cantik la..

besday inche ini ialah pada 17th march 2010.. sweet 24 to inche hasnul naim. ngaa. die ialah makhluk yang boleh bagi nasihat kejam kat aku tanpa sebarang keraguan lagi. terima kasih ye inche naim. ko mmg la kawan terbaik. uwekk =P

wish u happy healthy life..moga2 terus menerus kaya n boleh belanja aku seadanya pasni..~
jgn kawen cepat2 lah. nati aku xda membe nak g raya2..huhu..ko tunggu aku kawen dulu la since aku pun dah dnga nasihat ko xnak have any relationship selagi x abes blaja ni kan.. lala~~

n lastly......

xde..mender pon...hehe..just nak tunjuk a pix...

feel like wana give something to someone..but xtau ape nak bagi.. so tgh lepak2 ngn cik hasnatul hazwani..a few days b4 valentine kot... nampak la pair2 of keychain nie.. n most of the keychain mmg jiwang tahap x hengat lol.. bentuk hati sebelah2 la..kunci n mangga bentuk hati la... warghhh... ada ke manusia2 jiwang cmtu dalam dunia nie... haha... (aku mmg heartles bab cmni.sory ek)

so setelah dibelek2 sesedap rasa, hanya pair ni jek yg cam sesuai.. none meaning..just a guy n gurl.. =) plus its cute... so the other pair da diberi kt org tu.. n yg the gurl punye, aku letak kt porch hp....

so. setel sudah event untuk bulan ini... yang penting. aku mmg tgh rasa down skit skrg ni coz byk keje. n rasa malas yang di tahap yg maha melampau. sume benda pn malas..adehhh... ape nak jadi nie haaa.. (-.-")

ok. off for now~

to wAlk On eaRTh is a miracle.

event: Malam Apreasiasi Keunggulan Tradisi
place: pullman hotel, putrajaya

date: 27 feb 2009 - sabtu
theme: batik elegance

me. are the ajk persiapan plus pengangkutan.the runner bus.the ajk perhiasan.the ajk angkat2 barang.plus.the usher.

do u know what's the worth fighting for?

when its not worth dying for... does it takes ur breath away?

and you feel yourself suffocating?


does the pain weight out the pride?


and you look for a place to hide

did someone break your heart inside?

you're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

when u are at the end of the road

and you lose all the sense of control

and your thoughts have taken their toll


when ur mind break the spirit of your soul

your faith walks on broken glass

and the hangover doesnt pass

nothing's ever built to last.you re in ruins

one. 21 guns
lay down your arms
give up the fights
one, 21 guns
throw up ur arms into the sky
you and i

did you try to live on your own?


when u burn down your house n home?


did u stand too close to the fire?

like a liar looking out for forgiveness from a stone


when its time to live and let die
n u can't get another try

something inside this heart has died
you are in ruins

one, 21 guns
lay down ur arms
give uo the fight
one, 21 guns
throw up ur arms into the sky

i NeeD 25 hours.a dAy

loosing my weight after two hard weeks..
ehehe..~suke2..nanak kurus.. yeayy~~

been busy with.
test n test n test.
assg. arabic. microb. reportsss.
preparation for dodgeball.karnival 35 tahun KTDI.
preparation for the fac nite.

duhh. kill me. please. im exhausted. minded block. tension habes.
feel like nobody. around me. understand what im going through. haish.

i miss him~

dats all. what i feel now.

salam~

i choose the other way to live II

hehe. 2 post dalam masa x sampai 24 jam.. apekah..??

aku tgh mengalami halusinasi kot sebab nak face exam esok..~

n arini.. aku syukur sgt2 sebab aku X MATI...huh.. alhamdulillah umur panjang lagi..

excited la tu nak tau nape.. =p

hehe.begini ceritanye adik2.. masa aku g cafe nak lunch tadi. (dipaksa makan oleh ayu sebab seari suntuk just mkn sesuap nasi).. lepas tu. masa nak bayar kt kaunter, cermin kaca kt tmpat nasi ayam tu pecah berderai btol2 kat tepi aku..berterabur kaca habes (mcm hati aku la)..uhu.. nasib baik. diulang NASIB BAIK...aku elak sikit jek. kalau tak..dah terpacak agaknye kaca tu kat leher aku...mmg xde hampun.. abes la aku jadi hantu kat cafe tu..nasib hantu ni cantik..hihi~

faliq: ok la tu kalo kena. ko dpt MC. takyah amik exam esok...
aku: baik aku mati trus je faliq. takyah amik exam dah sampai bebila.....~

kemudian.kisah tragik ini dikhabarkan kepada adik tersayang..

zul: huh. apsal ko nak mati kat cafe plak? xleh mati tempat lain ke?
aku: err....~

mmg la budak nieh......

ape2 pun. mmg la. nak ckp. mati ni x kenal masa. x kenal usia. arini aku selamat. esok lusa? ntah la..aish. before jadi ape2. baik aku mintak maaf kat sume insan2 yang aku rasa pernah buat dosa..eheh~

salam~

i choose the other way to live.

dan bila hilang kasih manusia pada kita, biarkan ianya hilang..
asalkan kasih dan rahmat Allah sentiasa ada untuk kita..
apalah yang ada pada kasih manusia berbanding dengan kasih Allah kepada hambaNya.

salam~

seems like just yesterday, u were a part of me
i used to stand so tall, i used to be so strong
ur arms around me tight, everything it felt so right
unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
now i can't breath, no i can't sleep
im barely hanging on
here i am once again
im torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought u were the one
broken up, deep inside
but u won't get to see the tears i cry
behind these hazel eyes
i told u everything, opened up n let u in
u made me feel alright, for once in my life
now all thats left of me is what i pretend to be
so together, but so broken up inside
swallow me, then spit me out
for hating u, i blame myself
seeing u, it kills me now
no i dun cry on the outside anymore
no

p/s gudlak utk dri sendri yg ade manyakkk test esok.uhu.

to let my soul free.

haish..after a long pause..sorry la inche blog..saye meninggal2 kan anda..tak terniat pun kat hati ni sbenarnye..tp keadaan internet connection yang maha lembab mengalahkan siput babi mengandung 8 bulan ni..memang buat aku rasa malas jek nak buat ape2..even nk updated status facebook pun dah tak bernafsu..uhu..

sekarang ini.dah minggu ke 9 babe. wallah.. lagi 5 more weeks to final..preparation? heheh...usah ditanya la..hati aku dah meronta-ronta dengan tangan terkapai2 nak balik umah this 12th mac..ajib kawen..so apebende-lain-berkaitan-sekolah-ni...aku mcm layan tak layan jek..oho..kalau ayah aku baca blog ni, kirim salam je la kau awin...~~

xtually nak update pasal MAKT aritu..nak taruk pixs yg banyak2 tu..coz aku mmg xkan la taruk pixs tu suma kat fb..tp x sempat nk menyedut lagi pix tu kat orang2..maka.. aku tangguhkan dulu niat suci murni tu..tunggu la 2, 3 ari lagi ke..or next week ke..coz..jumaat ni aku dah start with bacteriology test (dr janna's killer paper) which first test aritu aku bernasib baik la dapat lebih separuh markah untuk paper die tu..gagaa... n for the next monday..... aku ade 3 test..ye..TIGA...mcm first test aritu gak.. 2 paper nye ialah paper yang kalo boleh, bila bukak je buku nak study die, aku dah muntah2 mcm ibu mengandung..hoho..(too many word mengandung eh? tgk kakak ipar layan anak buah cm besh jea. oh mak. saye nak kawen!)

n then after that, test biasa2 je plus the bunch of assigment need to be submit before week 14..then the final exam n then i'll start my practical for a month..Insyaallah..time goes by so fast, right? rase mcm baru smlm jek masuk upm nie...ni tengok2 dah nak masuk final year.. sedih?? oh..no~~no..lagi gembira ade la coz dah tak yah ngadap buku2 n kertas2 ni...

tp..bile tgk frens yang dah kerja..cm sedih gak la..... aish. tp just remember.. Allah dah tentukan yang terbaik untuk aku..n setiap orang ade bahagian masing2 kan kan?

ohoo..banyaknye words kat sini. mesti naik menyampah dah baca kan an?

anyway.. jap. nak share a lyrics yg sangat aku suka 2,3 menjak nie..selalu berkaroake bersama cik FAZLIN masa clas inorganic chem..ehehe..

usah biarku bersendirian..usah biar hatimu ditawan
usah biar diriku di sini seorang menunggu tanpa teman
usah lepas genggaman tanganmu
usah biar semua berlalu
usah terlupa perasaan hati
pertama kali kita bertemu
ku tak peduli apa sebabnya
engkau dan dia harus bersama
mendungnya langit bila berkata
kita patutnya masih bercinta
usah lepaskan....~~

hoho..mmg la jiwang saye ngn cik fazlin ni ye..hehe....ni lagu taufiq batisha..sedap n sedih la lagu die..kire kalau baru putus cinta..kalau tengah makan, dengar lagu nie..mmg penuh la pinggan tu dengan air mata...~

xtually. motif taruk lirik ni kat sini.ialah nak ckp.. jangan la bersikap mcm org dalam lagu tu.. bila semuanye dah berakhir, dah tamat..just lepaskan la..let it go..lama2 simpan dalam hati pun, xkan boleh ubah apa2 kan kan? move on. coz bila kite masih terikat dengan kenangan lama, sampai bila2 pun, kite xkan tenteram.

so dengan senang hati saya nak sebut nama seseorang yang memang x boleh nak sebut dalam beberapa tahun ni..iaitu.. syed nabil. past is past. i won't regret it, eventho it takes half of my heart n strenght to forget what had happen. i may fall, but im not stupid for still hang on. u choose ur path long ago, while im still lost. but now i know, to let go u meaning to let my soul free..~

mak ai. panjang nye entry ni. tu la..lame ngat x update..suma bnda nak cerita..huhu..ok la. wait for my MAKT's pixs ea...salam~

p/s i mmg suke buat p/s thingy nie =p good luck for sape2 yang ade test. especially to my dear. hehe. ^_^