Misery~

Seriously my life sux rite now. Too many thing too be think about n tooo mannnyyyy work to be done in this short period of time. Am not sure wether i can stand this to the end , feel like quitting. O Allah give me strenght please !

Its 25 March. a month after the war. What war ? hehe. u should know if u read the previous entry. I miss him ? hell no. but yes, i never leave him in my doa.

i"ll write again later. i have two presentation tomorow. the nutrition presentation will cost me 30 marks! oh damn. till again. salam.

437 Days.U r My Everything.

This is the continue of the last episode. remember?

Being with him, im kind of forget everything. just to read a msg from him already make me calm eventho at that time my world is spinning around. i like him. yup. he's the one that open my heart after two years . but am sure its not love, yet. not that easy i'll fall for someone. i know myself .

25 Mac 2010. its the 100 days that i know him. i put it in this blog. =) as i really do appreaciate him even at that time we were like apart because he's busy with his fyp n me also busy for my final exam preparation. but i know, sumthing was missing, sumthing is gone wrong .. but i dunno what. .

April came and our friendship just not like before anymore. Yes we still keep texting everyday but it just not feel like the same. But yet i still keep your word. u have no one, i have no one. we just have us . i tried to understand what is the meaning in your word but i just keep it ..

7 may 2010, 2.14 am.

" do u remember when u said that i have to tell u when i have someone?"

me: yup....

"i think that i already have someone. sorry awin . "

just as simple as dat . never give a hope when u know u can't make a decision. i know what i want n i stick with it but u just never stick with what u said. am not sad nor hurt. im just dissapointed.. but yes. u still a friend. someone that close to me . its june when i decided to go to KT, one night u just make me cried. (for how many times, i never count) ..

me : yes, u r my friend n i still sygkn u.

u: don't syg me! i just syg my ... . she's only.

me: ...... why are u?

U told me, at that time, ur gf wana break up with u . n me. a stupid good friend have tried all the way, just to comforted u . try to calm u n make u smile again, make u forget everything sad n bad . eventho me myself was broken with all that u said . i dunno where did i get this big heart . i rather cried alone than saw u hurt . i just wanna be beside u n hear all ur stories even what u told me will kill my heart. i just wanna hear ur voice evento all that u said is just cursed me. i just wanna keep u company eventho u never realised what i have sacrificed for u ..

June 2010 . its the first time we met. at my sis house in KT . u bough me a food . =) we just talking outside the house. the first time we met . i'll keep that in mind as a sweetest memories. as i want u to know that i came to KT all the way from perak, just to met u. stupid err ? heh . yes. as i said, i just wanna be by ur side when u are sad. i just want to see ur face .the next day we met again before i went back to perak. i gave u something . Dolphie. name that was given by u. Im sure i've deleted the entry about dolphie . . maybe later i'll share the pix .

From june until september . dat was the most happiest moment for me. we are so closed, really closed. yup. we never declare anything but u treat me so well. u make me smile, make me happy, make me wanna life everyday just to hear from u. even my life's suck with all the fyp thingy u are the one who make me feel breath again. which means u are my everything. while never know what's waiting for me next .....

p/s got a good comment bout the last entry bout the story . thanx guys for the support . its not my intention to buka pekung di hati sndri . but . i need to do this. as i said before, anyone terasa hati, i can't help it . just a simple sorry.

Am Not a Microbiologist.

I still have two weeks before my final year project presentation n i was like.. what ??!!

rasa mcm baru semalam je dapat tajuk untuk fyp ni n now nk kena present da? hihu..

I never write any story here about my fyp since i pun x berapa paham ape yg i nak cerita, haha.

Oke. The title for my fyp is 'Isolation and identification of microbes from kenaf'

err. dalam melayu nya. isolasi dan identifikasi mikrob daripada kenaf. err. faham?

shortly, i need to find the bacteria n fungi from the kenaf plant n do the whole test to confirm their name. have u ever seen kenaf ? its ok. before i start the project, me also never know what is kenaf. =) here's the picture.

Its more like bunga raya but lagi tinggi skit. this picture was taken at mardi when the kenaf age is about 3 months. it can achieve its high peak after 5 months. chewah. rasa mcm buat report ilmiah je. keh2. anyway the scientific name is hibiscus cannabinus. same family of bunga raya n jute. there are lot of advantages of this kenaf plant thats why boleh jadi subject for biotech.. so for more info, leh google je ea.

ok. next what i have to do is isolate the plant onto the media. erm. media is.. er.. hah. malas aku nak cerita. tiap2 hari aku nak serabut pasal mende tu ni dalam blog pun xkan aku nak cerita kan.hak2. aku tunjuk gambar je la. ni kira2 nak reveal the picture of the result la kan. nak ambik mood untuk presentation. hee.

this is one of the bacteria under the microscope.

this is the bacteria also..

ni fungi atau kulat la bahasa mudahnye. nice kan? sekali pandang mcm sperm. haha!

this is the picture that i heart the most!

From the first time i petik the kenaf until the isolation and the test mmg banyakk sgt procedurenye . kalau nk story kat sini, sumpah bosan! so im just sharing a few things with u olls tau. every final year student will always remember the experience with their project n thesis. so do me la. nanti bila2 dh tua teringat balik kisah2 dalam lab buat fyp mesti tergelak2 kn. huhu. just for now i need to endure all the hardship with the slides, thesis, test n all. im not strong tho. Just berdoa diberikn kekuatan drpd Allah supaya sentiasa kuat. mohon kwn2 yang baca entry ni pn doakan saya jugak ea? aminn. =)

437 Days.Hlovate Song.

Farhana Nazwin

hi hlovate. yups i agree with u that respect is what u need. but u should understand when people love someone, they intent to know everything about the person that they love. n u should know, those people who keep investigate bout u, where u from, wether u are female o male,they are your fans n they love u. so do i.
so, i think, u can't stop them from keep wanting to know, who is hlovate? of course they adore your writing but they also adore u. u are the one who make they feels something in ur writing.
but of course we respect ur privacy. =) if u want it that way. it just the curiousity n tekanan perasaan yg maha hebat to know who are u nway.. =)
whatever it is, me n all ur other fans will always support u n read all your beautiful stories which i can say, had teach me to be a better person.

thanks.

over a year ago · Delete Post

this is a msg that i sent to hlovate page on 15 december 2009.

msg from him.

hai..nice msg at hlovate page..=)

msg from me.

erk. haha. biase r melepaskan rasa hati terpendam. just rasa x patut die ckp funny bile org nak tau siape die.

...........................................................................................

Msg from him n me after that been continue. mostly about hlovate. we love hlovate n her novels.her writing that most we discussed about. i do like chat with him.kind of fun. =)

its my birthday.16 december 2009 when i do add him as a fren on fb. a day when i decided forget SN. the day i know him. so, i thought its a fate. naahh. there's no fate. its a mistake.tho.

its been 10 days that we keep texting until 25 december 2009. when i know that we can be a close friend. close like..close. u know? heh.. i thought that i know him enough but.. no no. i don't know him at all.. he's so nice, funny, and care for me. at that time. years ago..

on 17th january..he gave me sumting that i treasure so much... the hlovate song...

You wonder

Is it an angel or yet

Maybe a sweet dream that you can’t forget

So close yet far-fetched

Causing you to float on the line

between reality and fantasy

c/o Haunted the nightmares

Creates the ecstasy

Hlovate~oh poisonous honey

Love and hate

Driving me crazy

The poison ivy of Venus

Killing with venom so sweet

You’re losing your head

Don’t want it yet it keep haunting

Losing yourself in the suffocating mist

c/o

The blind arrows of

Piercing cold ice and

warm melting heart

Tearing me apart

~~~

he converted it to mp3 format n emel it to me.. that was. nice.. n at that time, i do appreaciate him. as he do appreciate me too.

we've been friend (sumtime i felt its more than a friend) for about a month.. until 31st january 2010.. when we first had our first quarrel.. n that was the first time that i know what was my feelings for him.but nope. i never confess. its against my principle.. n that was the first time he removed me from his fren list on fb..hehe. so childish rite?

i know that he already have sumone in his heart. but the way he treat me, make me can't leave him just like that.. if u dun want me, just leave me alone..becoz i can't leave u. can u understand that?

p/s. tis is my blog. u like it, u read it. u hate it, just leave it..can? ea.. coz tis story will have the continue..n yup its base a true story. anyone terasa hati, i can't help it... tq. =)

Random Confession.

If the last person you kissed invited you to a family dinner, would you go?

if he kissed me again, i will.haha.

Has anyone ever told one of your secrets they promised they wouldn't tell?

am not sure..its a secret rite?

Do you remember what you were wearing last time you cried?

my tee n my short.

Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with?

of course. my friends love me a bunch.

Do you think you could survive living by yourself for a month?

nope. i need a company.

Can you cook anything other then toast?

bzzz. im a good cooker tho.keh2

Have you ever lended the last person you called money?

yep

How many times have you cried over the last person you cried over?

can't count. maybe millions times

Have you ever been in an on-and-off relationship? Soo annoying right?

annoying sgt.

Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them?

nope.

Have you ever been with someone who was really clingy? Did it annoy you?

yes but it didnt annoy me coz i heart him so much. was.

Is there a store you go to so much the employees know your name?

of course la.im peramah what.

Did you get the last person you texted a present for their last birthday?

Fahmi. err.last year x sempat bg hadiah.hehe

Would you be able to live without the last person you fought with?

Not for now but later sure i can.

Does your best friend get along with their parents?

im not really make best friend.

Would you be able to tell me your mom's favorite food?

err. lemme call her first,hek2.

Has anyone seen you naked in the past 48 hours?

maself? haha. no la!

Is there anything in you room your parents would be pissed about? What?

Semak samun mcm taman haiwan.

Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend?

nope. before they start talking, im going.

Has anyone ever told you they loved you but not meant it?

Sure. MANY times.

Who was the first person you spoke to today?

my rumet.

Who did you see most today?

my rumet,

Have you ever watched someone being carried into an ambulance?

yup.

Do you think you could be with one person for the rest of your life starting now?

am not think bout that,yet?

What time did you wake up last Saturday? Why?

1045 am.haha. late coz am at home.

The Time.

Kata mereka aku sudah kurus. badan maksud aku. di pipi tetap sama. heh.

"eh..awin ke..aku ingatkn batang kayu mana td..kurus sgt.."

Pujian berunsur hinaan di situ. xpe. aku tetap terima dgn senyuman.

Ye. aku mmg x makan sgt skrg ni. kurang selera.kurang mood dan sebagainya.

Hati masih belum oke dari memikirkan perkara yg bukan2.

Tapi sampai bila?

Ini final sem aku.yang harus diharungi dengan penuh semangat dan keceriaan.

Walaupun keceriaan tu sedikit kurang sekarang ni. hampir hilang aku rasa.

Tak perlu ingat perkara yang menyedihkan dan menyakitkan.

Allah itu pemegang hati setiap manusia.

Hati aku, dia, kamu dan mereka.

Sungguh. aku dah kering air mata. cuma hati masih tak berada di tempat sepatutnya.

Cuma memohon kekuatan dari Nya. Memohon agar masa jadi pengubat segala luka.

Sedetik Lebih

Salam. hai hai sumer. setelah entry yg agak emo ye sebelum ni so arini nk updated psl perkara yg menggembirakan la plak.. hidup mesti ceria2 waaat??!!

to be honest, tis weekend bukan la weekend yg menggembirakan hati nurani aku ni. tp banyak pulak acaranya.. huhu. sabtu ade jalan2 floormet ke rumah kamey kat batang kali. mandi manda kt sungai n main pelampung. sgt la best. pastu lunch kt umah kamey. gamba semua x amik lg ade kat camera org lain.. so will be updating soon lah.

mlm smlm plak ade MAKT . which is dinner kolej aku ni la. mcm .. xde mood nak pegi.huuhu. tp dah bayar kan..harus laaa pegi.lagipon ni kan makt utk batch aku.. so. kira menghargai la nie. huk..

malas nk cite banyak2 ..layan gamba sudah.. majlis ni buat kt nilai spring resort. dekat ng kaws umah2 org kaya. sempat gak aku usya2 umah makcik sebelah surau yg ada anak lelaki kacak tu..hahah..

okeh. inner hijau tu mmg dh ade. bju luar tu beli kt pasa mlm je. murah nk mamp. inner ng selendang je beli. worth it. =) make up. sume sndri.oh pijam conseler fana jek.hehee. rasa mcm gojes trus letak jd profile pix fb. hahah.sila lempang.

cuba utk buat senyum ala2 jelita tp x jadi.

erm. makanan yg x worth it dgn harga yg dibayar. sory penganjur. try perbaiki next time.

perasan la tu dpt anugerah.haha.

coursemet koo.

Selain drpd mknan yg biasa2 aje.. huhu. meja kteorg gak x dpt gift.. bleh plak tetinggal..nsib baik ade ajk dtg bilik da td minta maaf.. lepas tu..untuk slide show final year tu..gamba kosmet aku sekeping pn tadakk.. ohhhhh wthhhh la. sgt. kecik hati kot. bnde mmg nmpk biasa je, remeh..tp.. rasa mcm x dihargai la kat situ..

ape2 pon..thanx to all yg buat majlis ni utk kteorg..yg kurang2 tu leh perbaiki lg di masa akn dtg k.. nk tido dh ni. bai.